I’ll admit, I’m a very emotional person. Maybe most ppl can’t tell, but that’s becuz I’m Aquarius, and Aquarius can seem to have a very strong character outside but have a very fragile and emotional inside.

It’s always been like that, one day I’m happy, the next day I’ll think of stuff and then I’ll be depressed. My emotion just fluctuates like a stock market chart.

Every now and then I would reflect on myself. I’d start questioning my own behaviors and actions, and then realized how stupid I was and promise myself not to do such foolish things again. The next day, I’ll forget everything and continue the cycle all over.

This is not healthy, definitely eating up my body and soul. I had a frd that told me I look thinner than before, that should be a good news for most of the girls, but not for me, not when I know the true cause of the weight loss.

I’m tired, I want this to be over. But my foolish mind keeps on dragging me back into the trap. It’s a trap that I’m willing to fall into, hence why I can never get out of it.

When will I be able to get back to the normal “me”?

Finally get to eat the chicken rice omelette at J-Town, wow the egg was really good…amazingly good but would be even better if there was more chicken. I think I’m loving Japanese food more and more! OISHII!!

Oh and cotton got a “hair” cut! lol..so cute now!!

This is it, I just wrote my last final exam in my undergrad years! I thought it was too early to feel the full impact of what it really means, cuz I wasn’t too excited or anything.

But for some odd reason, I couldn’t sleep. I slept for 4 hours and then woke up feeling not sleepy at all. I think maybe in my subconscious I’m really excited but I was suppressing that feeling somehow.

So here I am, wide awake, especially after a shower at this time of the day. I was thinking about my life after University. What am I going to do now that school is over? I feel so empty all of a sudden, it seems like a part of my life is taken away from me and I have lost my goal of life.

Of course I know I still have a job to go to during the day, and really that should be my next goal in life – having a successful career. Somehow I think my life is going too well as planned and I am too accustom to it to the point where I forget what it means to have a career. It doesn’t feel like a real full-time job for me because all these time I’m also in school.

Everything seems so surreal at this moment, I think I’ve just entered another “lost” stage of my life, searching for the meaning of life, yet again…